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BADPASTA

The Ritual for Clever People

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This ritual is different from all the others and it is meant to be performed only by clever people, thus, if you are stupid, it is better that you skip on this one. If you have an excellent brain, on the other hand, you definitely have to try this ritual, otherwise your intellect will be wasted.

If you are still reading and trust me, it is really the right thing to do for someone with such an I. Q. like you, here are the instructions for this ritual.

Preparing the Surrounding

Nothing special to do here, it is just required that, in order to perform this ritual, you must be in your house. It is worth noting, though, that, unlike the majority, if not the totality, of the rituals, it must performed by day, regardless of how much sunlight is present, which is absolutely irrilevant. In order to perform this ritual, nobody must be with you in your house.

Requirements

  1. A computer with a functioning internet connection.
  2. A time-keeping device with an alarm feature, be it an alarm clock or a cell phone or a different one.

The Ritual

  1. Go to my talk page and write as object of a new discussion: "I Am a Clever Person". Respect the capitalization.
  2. Go to your talk page and wait for "something" to post an answer in it, refreshing the page multiple times. If you do not receive an answer in a reasonable time, you cannot continue on, but you can try again later or another day. If you receive a time frame as an answer, for example "Three hours", you can proceed. Be aware that that is just an example, it may vary. If you receive anything else as an answer, you cannot proceed. There are no consequences if you find yourself in a no-continuing scenario.
  3. Set your timekeeping device of choiche to go off after the time written in the answer you received has passed.
  4. Close your eyes, concentrate and do not move from your chair, untill you fall into a trance. During this step, you could hear strange things, like something unlocking your front door, footsteps around you and bumps or you could feel something near you or rapidly moving in front of your closed eyes. Whatever you will hear or feel and no matter how dreadful it can get, DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES. This is the challenge of this ritual. Someone has even reported that totally unusual sounds, similar to a fridge door that opens and then shuts, can be heard. They are all tricks by the malevolent entity that is trrying to make you open your eyes out of curiosity, do not fall for it. Seriously, don't even raise an eyelid a little just to secretly look around your room, There wiil be serious consequences if you do.
  5. Once the alarm goes off, you can safely open your eyes, the ritual is over, I hope you do not mind that I broke into your house, stole all of your money and valuables and came near you and waved my hand in front of your closed eyes, I just could not resist. Oh, and you may notice your Pepsi cans that were in your fridge are gone, too. Sorry, but I got thirsty while I was searching your house.

Great job, pal... And you consider yourself clever...

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