Note: the errors in this pasta are intentional, do not edit them out, please.
Hello, reader, I've got another ritual here just for you. First things first, it's highly reccomended to be alone in your house, when performing this ritual, to prevent other people from harm. You, however, deserve everything that may come upon you, since you are so ill-advised to search the internet for dangerous games to perform, risking your life and/or soul for absolutely nothing in return.
If you are an avid reader of my ritual pastas, you will know by this point that the rituals I wrote are
absolutely fake and unmistakably preposterous specifically designed by me to require cheap and easy-to-find materials and tools. Thus, for this one you'll only need a candle for every room in your house and a flashlight.
To start this ritual, place a candle in every room of your house but don't light them, yet. Shortly before the sun sets, go in your bedroom and light the candle in there. That will make your bedroom safe. After the sun has set go around your house and light every candle. Oh, I forgot, it is not needed to place your candles on the floor, you can place them on forniture or wherever you are most comfortable with, besides, why would someone put candles on the floor? It's just stupid and can be dangerous, too, because you could accidentally knock one of them on the floor and start a fire if the flame spreads to an inflammable object.
Anyway, by lighting your candles you will wake up each demon that secretly inhabit your house, and they will be very mad at you for having waken them up, so immediately go into your bedroom, leave your door open and keep facing the empty, for now, doorway. As long as you'll keep looking at the doorway, the angry demons won't be able to reach you but, every time you'll blink, they'll get a little closer.
The number of blinks needed by the demons to get you varies according to the dimension of your house. Obviously, the longer the way the demons have to walk in order to get you, the more times you'll have at your dispose to blink and viceversa. Generally, if you blink and see a black shape in a night cap on your doorway with an angry look, you pretty much have only a blink left. Should you blink too much and fail this ritual, the demon will bust you up for having disturbed their sleep, then they will go back to bed. If you want, for whatever reason, to interrupt the ritual, grab the flashlight and go out of your bedroom, try to find the demons and present them your sincere apologies for having bother them only to play a stupid game. They'll most likely accept them and leave you alone but it's not excluded that they'll just cannot resist to give you a good beating even if you feel sorry.
If you manage to look at the doorway of your bedroom without blinking too much till sunrise, the demons will go back to sleep and you'll have won. That's it, ritual over. However, here's some notes worth your attention:
- you can get a number of candles which is double of the number of the rooms in your house, then place a candle in each one before sunset and each one again after sunset, so the demons will wake up but won't be able to do anything. There's no punishment for this, but every being in the otherworld will know that you are a dastardly cheater for the eternity;
- The candles were meant only to make your bedroom safe and wake the demons up, so, even if they burn out... WHO CARES?!? This ritual may be stupid, but it's not one of those If-your-candle-burns-out-or-goes-off-light-it-up-again-in-ten-seconds-or-you-will-die-a-horrible-death-you-do-not-even-want-to-know-about-yadda-yadda-yadda ritual, at least.
- you may want to consider to leave the bathroom alone, for this ritual, so the demon of the bathroom won't be awaken and won't take part in the game. This is because, no matter how the ritual ends of if you interrupt it, he will stick around even if the other demons are gone and will tell you awful toilet jokes for the rest of the day, thinking that you like them. He will then visits you every evening and tell each and everyone of them all over again, always the same, forgetting to having already told you them, for the rest of your life, without any possibility of banishing him.
So, as you can see...
...Lay at your own disk.
A disasterpiece made by Grand Albert
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