In every city of the world there is a slaughterhouse which is abandoned, its walls in ruins and the glass of its windows broken and shattered. If you ask any of the people who live in your city or town about it, no one will ever recall when it was operational and full functioning, neither the older ones. All of its doors are closed but in a specific day of the year they will be misteriously unlocked and you may enter. It is possible to know the specific day in a very simple way, by giving to each letter of the word of your language or dialect, to which the word "Slaughterhouse" translates, the number corresponding to its position in the alphabet, then adding all the numbers together. You will obtain a number, whose last four ciphers are the day and month in which the doors will be unlocked, month and day if you are american.

As soon as you enter the slaughterhouse, you will be assaulted by the stench of gore and decaying cow flesh, however, you must not pay attention to those, nor you must pay attention to the goulish mooing that surrounds you, and move on. You will eventually reach a spot further in the slaughterhouse where the grass has grow indisturbed for decades and decades. You will barely be able to see, in the darkness, a shadowly quadruped shape eating said grass.

As you get closer to it, it will become more and more clear, untill you will clearly recognize it as a cow. That is the last cow who was slaughtered in the slaughterhouse. Approach the cow respectfully and moo as convincing as possible to gain its attention. If you will not be convincing enough, you will be doomed to a fate worse than than hell, if you will be convincing enough, the cow will stop eating and raise its head to face you. It will then say, "There is no need for you to moo, I can speak every language of this planet and every other of other planets". That is because, being the last cow slaughtered in there, it has become omniscient.

You can now talk to the cow, if you want. Be aware, however, that if you happen to ask it a question it deems inadequate, it will take one of the five senses from you. It is unknown which kind of question will trigger this reaction from the cow, only that many people who attempted this came out of the slaughterhouse unable to feel the touch of their loved ones ever again or unable to hear the sounds of their loved ones ever again, deaf for the rest of their lives. Those were the luckiest ones, others were blind and the most unfortunate of them all were not be able to taste a pizza anymore.

Whether you decided to talk to the cow or not, it will eventually ask you a question. That could regard anything, since the cow is omniscient. If you do not know the answer, you will be instantly transformed into a cow and all of your previous memories will be erased, along with the knowledge that you were once a human. It is unknown if your relatives or acquaintances, if you have any, will remember you and will wonder what happened to you or not.

If you answer the question wrong, you will be instantly transformed into a cow, but you will retain all of your memories and you will be basically a human trapped in a cow body. This the worst of all possible fates that can befall you. If you answer the question right, the cow will resume eating grass and you can turn and walk away to reach the door where you entered from and leave. As you walk away, do not turn around. Trust me, it is better not, do not ask why, it is better you do not know. Starting from the morning after, you will have outstanding fortune and you will be very wealthy in a few days.

Personally, I would advise to try this, it may be dangerous but if you are successfull the outcomes will be very rewarding, just keep in mind that you, your house and everything you will touch, people included, will unavoidably smell of cow manure forever.

A disasterpiece made by Grand Albert

Content is avaible under CC BY-NC-ND

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.