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Introduction

The Riverside Woods have been home to several close calls people had with Jeff the Killer. I am a park ranger there and I'm making this article to publicly release the details of some of them.

5/16/2010

Jerome was walking home late at night alone through the woods. As it grew darker, he began to feel a sense of uneasiness. He thought that he saw something dash past him. He immediately spun around to see no one there. He assumed that it was just his imagination. When he turned around, he saw Jeff the Killer blocking his path.

Jeff said "Go to sleep".

Jerome started running in the opposite direction. Jeff was chasing after him. Suddenly, Jerome tripped on a tree root. Jeff was standing right over him holding a knife.

"Please don't kill me" Jerome said shivering in fear.

Jeff said "Oh, ok" and walked away.

9/29/2011

Benny was jogging through the woods to get some exercise. After running for a few minutes, he grew tired and stopped to catch his breath. He thought that he heard someone behind him and he turned around to see Jeff the Killer running at him. Before he could run away, Jeff pounced on him and pinned him to the ground.

Jeff said "Go to sleep".

Benny said "But it's only 3pm. My bedtime is at 10:30".

Jeff said "Okay, I guess I'll see you in 7 and a half hours. Goodbye." Jeff then walked away.

2/14/2013

Xavier was home alone at night. His parents were away and his babysitter was watching tv downstairs. He was just about to get to bed but then he heard something clawing at his glass window. He opened it and Jeff the Killer jumped into his room, covered his mouth so he couldn't scream, and pinned him to the floor.

Jeff said "Go to sleep".

He then tucked him in bed, kissed him goodnight, and left.

6/30/2015

Samuel was camping alone for 5 days in the woods. It was late at night so he was resting in his sleeping bag waiting to fall asleep. Just then, his tent was unzipping very slowly so he couldn't hear it. By the time he realized it, Jeff already got it open and he was standing above him with a knife in his hands.

Jeff said "Go to sleep".

Samuel said "What the fuck do you think I'm doing bitch?".

Embarrassed, Jeff peed his pants and ran away crying.

Conclusion

I'll update this if any more of these incidents happen. If you'll excuse me, I better start running for my life right now because I'm starting to notice Jeff chase after me right at this instant. Hopefully, I get lucky too.

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