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NOTE: THIS IS 100% REAL AND HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY. IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME, I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN USING YOUR IP ADDRESS, COME INTO YOUR HOUSE, AND TELL YOU THAT THIS HAPPENED. SO YEAH.

So like, I was on my couch, and my dogs starting barking so I looked out the window, and saw my friend. We went on a bike ride. Then, I came back home and the dogs were barking again, so I looked out the window and saw the mail man, but it wasn't a man at all, it was a WOMAN!! She put a box in the mailbox and walked off, and since I was all alone, I went to get it myself. It was either Sephora, a T-shirt with a dog on it, or boobies. However, when I opened it, there was no sephora, dog shirts OR boobies, but a small piece of paper that said http://www.satanmadethiswebsite.gov/spookymon, a picture of an Arceus that said "DIE" on it, and lots of styrofoam, maybe even too much styrofoam, which made my spine tingle.

I took the box to my room, and searched the link from the strip of paper. When I reached the website, I was incredibly confused. There were cats everywhere, and a little gif of a dancing Batman. In the middle of the screen it said "Download Spookymon.zip" I clicked yes, and saw the little download thing at the top of the screen. Then, the game popped up on my desktop. The icon was a picture of satan, but he had pikachu's face and ears. I opened the game, and a pop-up warning me about viruses came up. I ignored it, and continued on.

It appeared to be a ROM hack of Pokémon Fire Red, but instead of the normal theme, it was a 16-bit version of 'A Cruel Angel's Thesis', and instead of Charizard, it was a picture of Whitney Houston, only her eyes were anime eyes, and she was eating a loaf of bread. I thought it was hilarious, and kept playing. Then, I was greeted by a picture of Satan, and he said "Hello there! Welcome to the Hell region! I am Satan, but you can call me whatever you want, baby!" I was so confused, and just assumed that this was just some joke game, "Now then, before we do anything weird, I'm gonna need to know what I should be expecting. Boy or girl?" I picked the girl, "Oh, that's perfect! More holes...uh, so what do I get to call you, hm?" Satan asked. As a joke, I decided to enter my name as "a virgin", "Oh, a virgin, huh? I like it." I laughed my butt off when I read that, "Alrighty then, a virgin! Now if you could just sign this paper...Well, now I own you! XDDDDDDDDD" Then, like, 20 kajillion warnings started to pop up on my screen, and they all said I had viruses! And even worse, most of them were BOOBY viruses! Then, my wallpaper changed to a picture of Whitney Houston's face, and all the apps on my desktops's names changed to "Nothing but butt" and then a word document opened up that said "Remember iCloud? Get ready for some interesting conversations with your parents XDDDDD" I knew I was screwed, so I ran downstairs and saw my mom on the couch, and told her all about the mail, and Satan, and the boobs. She believed me, and so I didn't get in trouble when boobs flooded iCloud. Now I know never to trust .gov websites. so yeah.

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