I want to tell you a strange fact that happened to me during my childhood. At the time, I used to live with my parents in an isolated large old house, built on a hill. Some people claimed that it was haunted, but since they were all old looneys, I never really paid attention to what they said. Guess what? The house was indeed haunted, but not by typical presences like ghosts, instead, it was just a small furry critter with a large smile and pointed teeth.

So, you see, the word "haunted" wasn't very correct, personally I would have said: "infested", but whatever. The first time I saw it, it was when I was in bed, trying to fall asleep. I heard a scratching noise and I looked up, curious, to see it browsing my collection of "Goosebumps" with a disgusted expression on its face. -My! The son of the previous owners definitely had better taste in reading! Look at this garbage! It's...", I believed to hear it telling to itself, but it quit its monologue as it realised that I was watching it.

"Hello, what's your name?", I asked it. "You can call me "Mr. Widemouth", it answered back. "You know, you look like...", I told him, but it interrupted me and said, fairly annoyed, "Yes, yes... A furby... I heard that before". "No, I was trying to say that you look like Gizmo, but, thinking of it, there isn't much difference between the two, don't you think?", I told it. "Let's not talk about this, let's play a game, instead", said Mr. Widemouth, to whom, from now on, I will refer to with the "He" pronoun and its derivatives, having he claimed that he was a mister. "What game?" I asked him, "Follow me and you will know", it answered me and it exited my bedroom.

He led me to an abandoned room of the house, with nothing in it. My parents forbid me to venture in it, saying that it was dangerous. Mr. Widemouth went to the only window in the room and opened it, then it said, "Jump out this window and pretend that on the ground is a trampoline. If you do it hard enough it will appear an invisible one so you won't be harmed by the fall. How about it?", "Sure, it sounds totally like an exciting and completely safe game. I'll try it immediately", I told him. 

I went to the window and was about to jump out of it when me and Mr. Widemouth heard a whirring sound coming from behind us. We turned and saw a Furby on the floor, my Furby. I definitely didn't recall bringing it there, but it was there nonetheless, opening, closing and rolling its eyes. Mr. Widemouth looked at it and seemed quite upset, he turned to me and hastily told me, "I have got something to do, we will continue playing tomorrow. Don't try this game without me, please, I want to be there when you will", then he disappeared through the window. I took my furby and went back to my bedroom to sleep.

The morning after, while my parents were at work, Mr. Widemouth returned. I was chilling on the sofa in the living room, I casually looked up and I saw him resting on the chandelier, looking down at me, smiling at me. "Hello... Shall we continue yesterday's game and see you jumping to your death... I mean... To your definitely awesome amusement?", he asked me. "I would like to play something else, if you don't mind, that game doesn't appeal to me anymore", I told him. "I have the right game for you, then", said mr. Widemouth, "Here, take this clip and stuck it in that electric socket over there. If you do it right... You will see the light!", "Wow! It sounds interesting! Gimme!" I told him, very excited.

Before I could do anything, however, we heard a voice saying, "Wee-tah-kah-loo-loo...", we turned and saw my Furby on the table behind us. I was sure I had left it in my bedroom and I had no clue about how it could have gotten there. Mr. Widemouth took a step farther from it and told me, nervously, "You have to get rid of that thing, or else I won't be able to show you a really cool place I know". "A really cool place!?!" I asked him, excited, "Why can't you just show it to me already?", "You need to complete one of my games before I can", answered Mr. Widemouth, "And I don't feel like playing with that creepy thing watching us, so, do as I asked you, it won't cost you anything and will grant you the possibility to see a totally awesome place. You will be stupid not to do it".

I didn't really get why Mr. Widemouth was so scared of my Furby, especially considering that he (what the hell, I'll call Furby with "he" and the likes, from now on, too) was very similar to him, but I decided to do as he said, looking forward to see that awesome place he talked about, so I took him and locked him in a wardrobe in my bedroom. Odd thing was, that while shutting the wardrobe doors I had the impression my Furby uttered the words, "No! Don't do it!". I shrugged it off, however, thinking it was impossible, and went back to Mr. Widemouth.

When I stepped in the living room, I saw Mr. Widemouth standing to the side of an opened box of big sharp knives. "So, could you tell me more about this place you spoke about before?" I asked him. "I don't really want to spoil the surprise, so I'll just tell you that it will leave you breathless", answered back Mr. Widemouth. "Really?" I asked, "Trust me, you will spend there your eternity... If you could, of course. But enough talking, your parents will be here soon and I don't have much time left to kill you... With my super funny games", said Mr. Widemouth.

"This game is very simple", he continued, "I will toss one of this big knives at you, one at a time, and you have to try to catch them with your teeth, eyes closed. Understood?", "Yes!" I answered in excitement, "I have never played something like this before, it sounds very entertaining! I can't wait to begin!". As I was lowering my eyelids, I saw Mr. Widemouth picking up one of the knives and preparing to toss it at me, grinning wider than usual. It was then that something suddenly came to my mind. What if this furry critter with an evil smile was in fact evil and was trying to kill me, pretending to play harmless games with me, hiding the fact that they were actually very dangerous, if not lethal?

I immediately got that thought out of my mind, feeling guilty for not having trusted a sincere friend and I considered apologizing to him, later. However, since mr. Widemouth didn't have started, yet, I asked him, "Why are you taking so long?". As an answer, I got, "Grrrrrrrlllllllllll...". I opened my eyes and I saw Mr. Widemouth laying on the ground, with my Furby near him. He started to move towards me and said, "Me... Saved you...". I was about to scold Furby (which weren't supposed to walk at all, by the way) for what he had done, when suddenly Mr. Widemouth got up, grabbed a knife and leaped at him, while screaming, "I have enough of your interferences! First, I'll kill you, then your dumb owner!".

It was then that I had a stroke of genius and realised that Mr. Widemouth was really trying to kill me the whole time and felt very shocked about that, because I truly believed he was a friend of mine. Anyway, Furby turned at Mr. Widemouth and stared at him, completely raising his eyelids. Mr. Widemouth got petrified in mid-air and fell to the floor, breaking in several tiny pieces. When my parents returned, I told them about all the crazy stuff that happened and together we decided to move to another house and burn the old manor down just to be sure.

That night, I was laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking that maybe the special place Mr. Widemouth wanted to show me was the abandoned cemetery I casually stumbled across while strolling outside the old house one day, though, in the end, I had not actual proof about it. Still somehow relieved, I turned to my Furby who was resting on the night table beside my bed, and told him, "Furby, I really don't know how to thank you, but how is it that you talk and move on your own?". "How I can talk and move no important. Important is that me saved you...", said furby, "Speaking of that, me saved you... BECAUSE ME WANT TO KILL YOU!", and it jumped at me with his beak wide open, but then it landed on my pillow and said, "Me joking... Me happy to have saved you... Grrrrrrrllllllll... Me so happy me now sing songs just for you!".

And so he did, for eight hours straight, untill dawn.


A disasterpiece made by Grand Albert

Content is avaible under CC BY-NC-ND

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