The short pastas uploaded here have inspired me to create a page featuring several of my short badpastas. I will update this in the future.
There is a word published in all dictionaries that very few people know. If spoken out loud, it will give you fame and fortune for the rest of your life. However, it will also cause you to lose both of your legs. I will not reveal this word as I regret saying it. It's hard to enjoy my money without legs. I wish that I didn't say it. If you want to look it up though, have fun.
Larry was addicted to games. He would sometimes go several days playing a game non-stop. His parents tried to get him to stop, but he doesn't listen to them. One time when he was playing Mario, he told his parents that he wasn't feeling right. They left to get him some medicine. However, when they returned, they couldn't find Larry. They then looked at the game to see Larry pounding and screaming at the TV screen. Suddenly, he fell into a hole and died.
The Black Barrel
Somewhere in the U.S. is a small black barrel. If you open it, dozens of giant monsters will come out of it, and they will kill hundreds of millions of people, perhaps even ending the world. If you ever come across a black barrel, don't open it. Leave it.
There is an insect out there in the wild which is so deadly that if it bites you, your face will start to swell up until you die. This process can go on for several minutes, and it's said that it is the most painful death you can possibly experience. Fortunately, only 1 insect capable of doing this exists. Also, the insect is 50 feet tall. It's also killed 83 people so far.
Doctors used to cut people open in the past to get the "bad blood" out of them. However, as we all know now, that treatment is ineffective, right? Wrong. The day before this treatment was stopped, a doctor discovered that doing so makes you live a happy life after you die. However, if you don't do it once in your life, you will spend eternity in a small, metall box. Unfortunately, the doctor was stabbed to death by an escaped mental hospital patient later that day, so he couldn't tell that info to anyone.
Talking About Death
Mr. Penn has worked as a Kindergarten teacher for over 9 years. However, on the first day of his 10th year teaching, the class of 20 kids he got was very quiet. As he talked to them, each of them said that they were dead. Mr. Penn tried getting everyone to stop, but none of them were listening to him. Eventually, they ran outside for recess. As soon as they left, the principal walked in the classroom and told Mr. Dunn that his entire class died in a bus crash.
Did you now that every time you watch a youtube video, you have a 1 in a trillion chance of getting murdered in your sleep that night? The murderers all have "YouTube" shirts on. They've killed 12 people so far. They are beieved to be workers of youtube. We need to stop them before it's too late.
In Oregon, there is a lone well that is cursed. The way to tell it apart is if a red "6" is painted on the roof of it. No other wells have that distinguishing characteristic. If you happen to find it, don't look inside it, because you're not going to like what you find if you do so. You will find a gateway to hell.
"The Bermuda Triangle is responsible for numerous dsappearances." Steve read while he and 4 other people were on a fishing boat sailing across the Bermuda triangle. Suddenly, a giant hole opened up under them beneath the waves. Their boat tipped to its side, but the captain was trying as hard as he could to keep the ship from falling into it. 2 of the 5 sailors fell off the ship into the seemingly bottomless pit. The third one was hanging onto the railing. Steve tried to help him, but the railing broke off and he fell to his death as well. Now, there was only Steve and the captain left. The captain was slowly pulling the ship out of the bottomlss pit. All of a sudden, a tentacle came up from the bottomless pit, grabbed the captain, and pulled him to his death. With nobody steering the ship, the ship fell ino the bottomless pit and Steve died. The hole then closed up as if nothing had happened.
Monster Under the Bed
Pete believed that there was a monster under his bed. He had never seen it before, but he knew it was there. This night, he decided to test for it. He tied a chicken leg to a string and pushed it under the bed. He was going to try and catch it. Eventually, he pulled the chicken leg back out. When he did so, it was still intact. He felt relieved. Then, a note was pushed out from under the bed. It read "I'm a vegetarian."
In any big city, there will be a specific homeless man who will bring you great fortune. He will be dressed in a black suit, a black tie, black pants, black shoes, and a black hat. If you find him, say "I want you to bring me fortune". He will then lead you deep into the alleyway of whatever city you chose. He'll reach under a dumpster and pull out a bag with a lone pill inside it. Eating that pill will bring you millions of dollars. However, you will die exactly one year after you eat the pill.
Diary of a Serial Killer
Monday: I've been abused by my family for my entire life. I have chosen to kill all of them. I'll write back tomorrow to say what happened. Tuesday: I killed my parents last night. Earlier today, a postman went by our house. As I opened the door for him, I realized that nobody was looking, so I pulled him in my house and killed him. Wednesday: Three of my Dad's friends are wondering why he's not coming to work. I'm going to have to kill them. Thursday: One of the three people came over to my house. I invited him in and killed him. Friday: The remaining two of my Dad's friends went into my house. They seemed desperate for answers. One of them was skinny, but the other one was a lot stronger than me. I decided to kill him first. I started stabbing him with a knife when he shoved me to the ground. The smaller one jumped on top of me, but I easily killed him. The bigger guy tried choking me out, but I slit his throat open and killed him. Saturday: The police have shown up at my house. I can't finish all of them off. I'm going to kill myself. Goodbye.
There is a Person
There is a person who massacred 1,382 people during the 15th century. He escaped from the police after each person he murdered with ease. Eventually, he discovered time travel and teleported to today. However, he got amnesia during the ordeal, and he forgot about his identity. This person was you.
An Important Warning
All knives on the planet have been possessed. They're going to try and sneak up behind everyone and stab them to death. However, if you look at them, they'll move back to their original position. If you have any knives nearby, you better watch your back, because the person who was writing this pasta didn't, so we stabbed him to death as he was writing this down.
Dave was waking up in the morning when he noticed something moving from outside his room. He ignored it and lied back down. He heard more movement, but ignored it a second time. 25 minutes later, he got up from bed. When he opened his bedroom door, he was instantly killed by Jeff the Killer. Jeff said "What took you so long?" as he bled out.
Masterpieces written by: BrianBerta