Note: I did not create this pasta and I am in no way taking credit for writing it. I'm just passing it on.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Jack. Jack was very ugly, but he liked to eat people. One day he got obsessed with eating people so he ate himself. As he bit down on his hand, the blood poured out and went all over the lovely floor. 1 day later, a man came into his house, seen the blood covered floor, and started skating in it. The man fell onto the knives drawer, and the knifes spilled out and stabbed him, he died. A lady came in the next day after that, and seen the blood covered floor and the man that was stabbed, so she moved on, and walked to the bedroom to watch some TV. As she watched TV she noticed it did not have good signal. She walked over to the TV and electrocuted herself. She was also dead. She turned into a teddy bear and started to scare little children. Saying “Hey kids, I’m a bear that’s gonna eat yo’ flesh”. After that, the mail man came about 2 hours later, seen her electrocuted body. He picked up the corpse and then stuffed it in the mail box. Another mail man came the next day to bring some more mail, he opened the mail box, and seen the body stuffed inside. He got it, took it to a lotion factory, and then watched as they turned it into a bottle of lotion. He then delivered the lotion to a pregnant woman. She moisturized her skin with the blood filled lotion, her skin was so soft. When she had her baby, the babies skin was soft too, but it was a red baby. The baby then grew up to be a cereal killer, stepping on all the fruit loops. One day, the police caught him, and so they executed him by stepping on him like he did to the fruit loops. It was televised on national TV. They even showed it to pre-schoolers. Once he was dead, they took his body, and made meatloaf out of it. They sold it at a market for 5 million dollars. Someone bought it, took it home, and ate it. They then got sick, and died. Her body turned into a pile of fruit loops. Her kids ate the pile of fruit loops, and then, they turned into fruit loops. 1 year later, the police realized that there was an amazing amount of people missing, so one day, they looked for them. They found the piles of fruit loops, and were like “Mmmmm, I LOVE ME SOME FUIT LOOPS!”. So they ate them, and they lived. Then one day, they were driving home, and flying fruit loops appeared, so they opened the window to the car, and started eating the fruit loops as they flied. Once there were no more fruit loops to eat, they went to a pillow factory and purchased 5 billion pillows to dye red with blood. They then slept on them, and they all started dreaming about fruit loops taking over the world with microwaves. The End.